we used to talk everyday
it used to be so great.
now it's like i've disappeared
you can't see me anymore.
i hate that you talk to everyone else but me.
i hate that you don't have anything to say to me.
i still have to much to say to you.
but you aren't around for me to say it.
how was your day?
how have you been?
why can't you let me in?
i want it to be like before when we 'xo'ed and *poked*.
i want to be desired and lusted after.
i want you to offer to hug me like you used to.
but now that everything has changed it's like you don't want to anymore.
i still need you there.
i crave your body still.
i want to be friends like before.
it hurts.
my heart is broken,
but not because you won't love me,
just because you don't want me anymore.
i could cry a thousand oceans over you and you still wouldn't notice.
why don't you realize you are still my torrid affair?
i won't fall in love this time i promise.
i just want you back the way it was.
with all of it's secrets and all of it's lusts.
i want you to tell me you wish i was there.
i want you to talk to me all night long like we used to do.
only 10 days ago everything was perfect.
now i hate everything about everything.
i feel like you don't want me to talk to you anymore.
if i could resisit you i would.
next time i'll try my hardest to not be the one to start the conversation.
i'll just sit and patiently wait for you to talk to me.
this is so stupid.
and i have one regret and it was being envious of her, whenever she existed.
because if i never had of told you how i felt about you then, would we be so fucked up now?
i want to make it right with us the way it was before.
i can't take it like this.
i just can't take it.
you can come and you can go as you please with me.
so why can't i just call you and you want me as much as i do you?
isn't that the way it is?
fuck you then.
you don't even care how i feel.
well, i already figured that out.
it would have been nice if you would have just been straight with me the other day and told me what was going on instead of crawling into my arms like nothing ever changed.
i liked it, i did.
but i want it again and i hate feeling like i'm begging you for your precious time.
before we hung out almost every day.
now i feel like i can't even ask you anymore.
why is that?
why can't i just ask you?
i don't want to wait "in time" for your hug!
before you would say "aww" and send a kiss my way.
but all you say is "in time"!
what the fuck is that?
maybe i am just reading too deeply into things.
but you sure as hell have a funny way of treating me these days.